Love, Always and Forever Read online

  For the second time in one day, she surrounded him with her strength and scent. Both went a long way toward soothing his heart. “I love you, Mom.”

  She cupped his cheek with her warm hand. “I love you, too, Misha. Now go home and eat that food before it gets cold. Then get some sleep, but not before you call me.”

  So Jack had delivered Mikhail’s message as promised.

  “I will.”

  He put his bag of goodies in the passenger seat and drove away. He risked a glance in the rearview mirror and shook his head. Just as he feared. Most of the family had joined Marlene on the front porch and were watching as he approached the corner at the end of the street. Tino and Jack had flanked their mother, offering her what comfort they could. He was okay until she swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. God, he hated that he’d hurt her.

  He gunned the engine to put more distance between himself and his family while regret and guilt marched in lockstep through his head and heart. Slamming his fist down on the steering wheel, he let loose with a string of curse words but ran out of breath long before he ran out of anger.

  Traffic was heavy enough that he needed to get his head back in the game, but damn, damn, double damn, he hated feeling like this.

  Chapter 9

  Amy peeked out of her front window. Just as she suspected, even though the sun had gone down over an hour ago, Mikhail was still out in his front yard hacking away at the sod with some kind of hoe. Maybe he was excited about the new plan for his landscaping, but somehow she doubted that was what was driving him right now.

  He probably wouldn’t appreciate her worrying about him. Too bad. Friends worried about friends. That came with the job. The only question was what she could do to help him without being too obvious about it.

  Whenever she had a rough day, ice cream always helped. No reason that it wouldn’t work just as well for the six-foot-four Viking next door. Without giving herself time to second-guess her decision, she headed for the freezer to dig out the good stuff she saved for special occasions or if she needed a pick-me-up when life got to be too much.

  After arranging all three flavors on the counter, she debated what to do next. Should she keep it simple and dish up a scoop of each one in a bowl or pull out the big guns? Or, better yet, the big bananas?

  Oh, yeah, that was the ticket. She got the oblong bowls out of the cabinet that she had bought special for just such an occasion. It wouldn’t take long to put together a matching pair of her favorite guilty pleasures. After cutting the bananas in half lengthwise, she nestled three scoops of ice cream down their centers, one each of double chocolate, mocha, and cookie dough. Next came a drizzle of chocolate sauce. On second thought, make that a deluge of chocolate to be followed by a heavy-handed sprinkle of hazelnuts and a thick layer of whipped cream. After grabbing two spoons, she was ready to go.

  Mikhail was still flailing away at the grass when she crossed into his yard. She’d turned on her outside lights, hoping that would warn him of her approach. This wasn’t a good time to sneak up on the man.

  When he paused to wipe the sweat off his forehead, she called his name. “Mikhail, can you take a break?”

  “Not now, Amy.” He slowly turned to face her. “Go home. Please.”

  The words were spoken in a near monotone, but the underlying growl in his voice sent a chill straight up her spine. She knew in her heart that he’d never hurt her, not deliberately, but that didn’t mean he was safe to be around right now. Deciding he was worth the risk, she held her ground but made no move to get any closer.

  “I have something for you. Well, for us, actually. I felt a desperate need for ice cream, but I didn’t want to eat it all by myself. I hope you like banana splits, because I made you one, too.”

  She held up the bowls and gave him a hopeful smile. “If you won’t eat yours, I’d be morally obligated to eat it myself. I’m pretty sure there are some pretty stringent rules against letting ice cream this good go to waste.”

  When he didn’t immediately capitulate, she added, “Come on, Mikhail. Friends don’t let friends eat ice cream alone.”

  He tipped his head to the side as if he were studying a particularly interesting bug he’d uncovered. “You don’t listen very well, do you? I’m telling you I’m not good company right now.”

  “What if I promise not to talk? We can sit on your porch and pig out. Afterward, I promise I’ll go back home. The ice cream and banana will refuel your energy level, and you can go back to digging up the other half of your front yard if you want to.”

  His mouth twitched. “You really think you can sit there long enough to eat all of that without saying a single word?”

  “I can try.”

  Without waiting to see if he’d changed his mind about her staying, she settled herself on the top step of his porch and patted the spot beside her. A few seconds later, he simply let go of the hoe and it fell to the ground. One thing she’d noticed about Mikhail was that he always took good care of his tools. That he’d treat this one so carelessly spoke to how out of sorts he was.

  As promised, she kept her mouth shut as he joined her on the porch. She realized staying quiet wouldn’t be as hard as sitting next to him and not drooling. At some point, Mikhail had stripped off his shirt and hadn’t bothered putting it back on despite the chill in the late evening air. Having all that warm, muscular flesh mere inches away had her wanting to purr and lean against him. To rub her arm against his. To taste his skin.

  Not a good idea.

  She handed him his bowl of ice cream. His eyes widened. “Boy, when you make a banana split, you go all out.”

  When she didn’t respond, he leaned over and bumped her with his shoulder. “You can talk.”

  “I consider a banana split to be an art form, not something to just throw together.” She held hers up for his inspection. “It took me years of practice and personal sacrifice to come up with the perfect recipe.”

  He inspected his own bowl, turning it from side to side. “Really? So what are the crucial ingredients that make yours so special?”

  She nudged him back. “No plain vanilla ice cream, for one thing. I prefer to utilize the entire chocolate ice cream spectrum. In this case, double fudge chocolate, mocha, and chocolate chip cookie dough. Then a really good chocolate sauce topped with chopped hazelnuts. Obviously the proper ratio of whipped cream to bananas is important, too.”

  “You really have put a lot of thought into this.” He ate a huge spoonful, his eyes closed as he savored the flavors. “All right, I’ll concede that this is a superior split. Thank you for making me one, too.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Good to her word, she sat in silence as they both made serious inroads into their ice cream. He might be enjoying his, but right now she was so hyperaware of him that she might as well have been eating dirt. Considering how much she loved chocolate and ice cream, that was saying a lot. Too bad this wasn’t the time to indulge in a bit of neighborly lust. Even in the dim light from her garage lights next door, she could see the deep lines bracketing his mouth and the tension in the set of his shoulders. What had happened today to upset him this badly?

  “I’m okay now. Well, better, anyway.”

  Rats, he’d caught her staring. Rather than pretend she didn’t know what he meant, she went for honesty. She set her ice cream down and placed her hand on his forearm. “I was worried about you. I could tell something was wrong when you came home earlier.”

  Mainly from all the banging around she’d heard coming from his garage, punctuated by some pretty colorful obscenities. She’d actually admired his creativity even if some of what he’d said was physically impossible.

  His pale blue eyes finally turned in her direction. “I don’t regret serving my country, but some days it’s not easy to forget what all that entailed.”

  “And today was one of those days.”

  His broad shoulders slumped in defeat. “Yeah. I never know what will trigger another flas
hback. I was at my mom’s house today with the entire family when I snapped. It wasn’t pretty.”

  She bet it wasn’t easy for him to talk about what happened, and she felt honored that he trusted her enough to share his pain with her. “I’m sure they understood, especially your brothers. They’re both veterans, after all.”

  “Yeah, but still.”

  Scooting a little closer, she rested her head against his shoulder. She knew from experience that sometimes words weren’t much comfort, but that simple touch could help ease even the worst emotional pain.

  “Does your mom know you’re okay?”

  He shrugged. “I texted Jack to let them know I made it home in one piece. I also promised to call her, but I haven’t done that yet. I wanted to make sure I was back in control before I talked to her. I already worried her enough for one day.”

  He set his empty dish aside. “Maybe I should do that now.”

  “I’ll go, then.”

  Mikhail caught her hand with his and tugged her back down beside him. “Stay. Please.”

  She settled back down next to him and snuggled in close as he wrapped his arm around her. With his free hand he dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed his mother’s number. To give herself something to do besides listening in on his conversation, Amy picked up her half-melted ice cream and took a bite.

  He started talking almost immediately, a sign his mom had been sitting by the phone waiting for his call. “Sorry to take so long to get back to you, Mom. I started working in the yard and lost track of time.”

  He went silent for several seconds before speaking again. “Yes, I did eat. The pot roast and vegetables were great as always. I had decided to save the pie for later, but now I probably won’t eat it until tomorrow. Amy came over and forced me to eat a whole bunch of ice cream.”

  It felt good to hear him chuckle. “She’s tough, let me tell you. I was scared to tell her that I already had some of your apple pie waiting for me inside. To give her credit, though, she does make a mean banana split.”

  He drew a shaky breath. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about earlier. I’m feeling better now.”

  Amy didn’t know what was being said on the other end of the conversation, but Mikhail stared down at Amy with an odd expression on his face as he listened to whatever his mother had to say.

  “Okay, I’ll tell her, Mom.” He let out a slow breath. “Look, I’d better let you go. I promise I’ll check in with you again tomorrow. Love you.”

  After he’d hung up, Mikhail sat in silence for several seconds. She had to ask. “Tell me what?”

  “She wanted me to thank you for watching out for her baby boy.”

  Amy snickered. “Is that really how she described you?”

  Mikhail looked mildly insulted. “What’s wrong with that? I am the youngest even if only by a few months.”

  What could she say now? “Sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed. If it helps, my father calls me his baby girl all the time. I’m four years younger than Chad, the brother closest to me in age.”

  Her companion’s arm tightened around her shoulders, tugging her in closer to his side, a reminder of how alone they were sitting there on his front porch, both blanketed in deep shadows and safe from prying eyes. “I guess parents sometimes have problems realizing their babies are all grown up.”

  The slight huskiness in Mikhail’s voice slid along her skin, causing tingles in places that should remain tingle-free if the two of them were to stay on the right side of that friendship line they’d drawn between them. His big hand moved down her arm and back up, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake.

  She told herself—no, she ordered herself—to move away. Hadn’t she given in to enough temptation tonight by dumping double the usual amount of chocolate on her banana split? Evidently not, because she stayed right where she was, waiting to see what happened next as her heart beat to a salsa rhythm in her chest. The best-case scenario would be that Mikhail had enough strength of will for the both of them.

  Maybe the man was a mind reader because at that instant his arm disappeared from around her shoulders. Okay, then. Definitely time to go home. She mustered up the energy to stand up. “I’d better let you get back to work.”

  He stayed right where he was, but there was a new tension in his body. It was probably her own imagination working overtime, but he reminded her of a predator about to strike. Moving cautiously, she reached down, intending to pick up the empty bowls they’d set aside. But instead, she found her hands captured by Mikhail’s.

  “And if I don’t want you to leave? At least not yet.”

  With a slight tug, she went tumbling down into his lap, his powerful arms cradling her against his bare chest. “You shouldn’t…we shouldn’t…we’re friends.”

  And she was babbling.

  Mikhail grinned at her, looking more than a bit wolfish. “You’re right on all three counts, but right now this friend wants to kiss you. Are you okay with that idea?”

  Way better than okay with it. Afraid she’d start babbling again, she settled for nodding.

  “Good answer.”

  The man was a tease, though. His lips hovered just short of their intended target, forcing her to close the small distance between them if she didn’t want to wait for him to decide to get down to business. She captured his face with her hands and tugged it down and firmly planted her lips against his. As soon as she did, he smiled against her mouth. Maybe he’d wanted to make sure that she was a willing participant. He nipped at her lower lip and then plunged his tongue into her mouth when she protested. Oh, man, this was no simple kiss between friends. It was…amazing. Full of heat and hunger.

  And now those dangerous tingles were back and spreading like wildfire throughout her body. She shivered and didn’t know why. Even if the night air was chilly, right now she was blanketed in Mikhail’s warmth. All that smooth skin over powerful muscles was hers for the touching. For the tasting. She broke off their kiss to go exploring. His cheek was bristly with a day’s growth of whiskers. Nibbling her way along his jawline, she was dimly aware of Mikhail’s hands doing some wandering of their own.

  When one cupped her breast, she moaned and leaned into the strength of his palm. So lost in the powerful sensations, she only dimly registered that she was moving as Mikhail maneuvered her down to the cool wooden floor of the porch. He stretched out beside her, his long legs tangling with hers.

  He caught both of her hands in one of his and anchored them over her head, the position causing her to arch as if offering up her breasts for his consumption. Maybe she was because she didn’t protest when he leaned down to nuzzle the valley between them.

  “You are temptation itself, woman.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “Pot, kettle, black, Mikhail.”

  Her comment clearly pleased him. Good. Now if he’d only pick up where they’d left off. Instead of kissing her, he gave her a long look. Even in the dim light, she could tell that regret had replaced the passion that had been reflected in his gaze only seconds before.

  He released his hold on her hands and then brushed her hair back from her face. “We’re at the crossroads right now with a decision to make.”

  She trailed a single fingertip along the sculpted line of his cheekbone and studied the pulse point at the base of his powerful throat. The man wasn’t as calm as he sounded. “Which decision is that?”

  “If we keep going in the same direction we were just headed, you’re going to end up on your back in my bed while I make love to you every which way I can.” He lowered his head to brush his mouth across hers. “And I have to say, my friend, I want that so badly I can barely breathe.”

  His words and the raw hunger in them stole her own breath, leaving her unable to speak. Evidently, he had no such problem. “But, if we’re going to pull back behind that line of friendship, we need to stop now while I still have the strength to let you go.”

  Maybe, just maybe, if they’d been on one of their adventur
es and ended up here on his porch like this, she would’ve taken what he offered. But he’d been hurting, and she’d come there to offer him comfort in the form of ice cream and companionship. Yeah, he might really want her as much as she wanted him. But if they ever did take that next step together, she wanted it to be when both of them were strong.

  “I might regret this for the rest of my life, Mikhail, but I think I should go home.” She smiled up at him. “But not quite yet.”

  It was as if she’d flipped a switch of some kind. Between one second and the next, he was all over her, his mouth laying claim to hers, his fingers tangled with hers as he eased his big body over hers. She opened her legs, welcoming him into the cradle of her body as the two of them danced with the devil one last time.

  Time passed in a haze of sensations. Touches, teases, and temptations. She memorized the way it felt to be anchored to the world with the weight of a would-be lover pressing against her. And when he eased off to lay by her side, she felt bereft.

  A second later, he rolled to his feet with his usual powerful grace and offered her his hand. “Come on, lady, I’ll walk you back home.”

  He picked up her banana split bowls and once again wrapped his arm around her shoulders. When they reached her porch, he stayed on the sidewalk and let her walk up the three steps on her own.

  “Thank you for coming over tonight. It meant a lot.”

  “You’re welcome.” She opened the door, but she wasn’t quite ready to go inside yet or to watch him walk away. Grasping at straws, she said, “I do have one question for you.”

  “Which is?”

  “Are you really going to hold off eating that piece of apple pie until tomorrow? Because if you have that much willpower, I’m not sure we can still be friends.”

  Mikhail’s teeth flashed white in the darkness as his laughter rang out. “Let’s just say my intentions are good, but I seem to have worked up quite an appetite for something sweet.”

  He paused to give her a long look, starting at her head and then moving down to her feet and back up again, leaving little doubt what—or who—he meant. “Since I can’t have the dessert I really want, then Mom’s apple pie will have to do.”