A Reason to Love Page 18

  He knew long before he reached the edge of the yard Melanie had been right about who was lurking there in the shadows. Stopping just short of the trees, he called out one word. “Leif!”

  As soon as the other man took a step toward him, Spence lunged forward to shove Leif up against a tree. “You son of a bitch! Are you trying to get yourself killed? What if I’d been carrying?”

  At least the other man had the good sense not to come boiling right back at him. He held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, Wheels. I was just out walking and spotted Mooch moving through the woods. I was worried he’d decided to come back here without you knowing he’d taken off.”

  Spence knew Leif well enough to know when he was telling the truth. “Once you knew he was with me, why didn’t you retreat?”

  “Because I wanted to know what was going on. Callie’s parents said they were having friends over tonight, but they never said it was you and Melanie. What’s up with that?”

  If he’d come across as mad instead of hurt, Spence might not have had the strength to tamp his temper back under control. He shoved his fists into his pockets before answering. “Mama R. came to see me last week. She wanted me to come see the two of them and told me to bring Melanie if I needed reinforcements.”

  Leif stared past him to where she stood with Callie’s parents. “If you needed a wingman, you could have called me. We’ve always had each other’s back, or have you forgotten that?”

  “No, I haven’t forgotten a fucking thing.”

  Which was true, but things had changed and the fit felt all wrong somehow. Spence rocked back on his heels. “Look, like I promised Callie, I met with Troy Nash, my attorney. We’ve started wading through everything, and he’ll let me know when he’s heard back on a few things what my options are and what needs to be done. The bottom line is that I don’t have any answers yet, but I am working on it. Can you let Nick and Callie know that progress is being made for me?”

  Leif crossed his arms over his chest and gave Spence a hard look. “It would be better if you told them yourself, but I’ll play messenger for you.”

  The big lump in Spence’s throat made it hard to talk, but he forced the words out. “I owe you one.”

  Now Leif looked totally disgusted. “You don’t owe me a damn thing. This is what friends do for friends.”

  What could he say to that? When he couldn’t think of anything, Spence started to walk away but turned back after only a few steps. “How are you doing? Melanie tells me you’ve been seeing someone.”

  Even in the deep shadows it was impossible to miss Leif’s smile, which eased the lines that pain had carved deep into his face. “Yeah, I am. Zoe is a former army nurse who served in Iraq. We met when she oversaw my therapy when I first got here. We’ve both been through some pretty rough stuff, but we’re dealing with it.”

  So maybe there was hope for Spence, too. “I’m glad for you.”

  Something ran through the bushes behind them, causing both men to jump. Leif cut loose with a long string of curse words. He’d always had a real talent for that to the point where more than one time it had given rise to applause from his fellow soldiers. For some reason, that small memory eased the knot of tension that had Spence all tangled up inside. It was a little taste of normal and how things used to be between them—and it suddenly struck him that he had been looking for a sense of normalcy ever since he returned to Snowberry Creek.

  “We’d better get out of these woods before something jumps out and gets us.”

  Leif laughed. “Yeah, some of the squirrels around here can be pretty vicious. Just ask Mooch.”

  Evidently, Leif’s leg injury didn’t prevent him for moving fast if he wanted to badly enough. Before Spence realized what Leif was up to, the man had him wrapped in a hard hug. It lasted less than a second, maybe two, in real time. But in Spence’s head, it dragged on for an eternity. His lungs refused to work again until after he’d put several feet between them.

  Leif held up his hands to show he was done with the sneak attacks. “Sorry, Wheels, but it had to be done. Maybe next time it won’t be so hard for you. Try to fix whatever’s out of sync in your head. I miss you.”

  He disappeared into the trees while Spence stood there, trying to draw a full breath. Melanie joined him in the shadows, her scent and touch giving him something solid to hold on to. She simply stood with him, letting him have all the time he needed to paste the broken pieces inside him back together.

  When he no longer felt as if he’d shatter, Spence wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Think we should be heading home?”

  She nodded. “Mrs. R. has your goodies all bundled up and ready to go. All we need to do is say good-bye.”

  With Melanie as his anchor, they bid their farewells to their hosts. Mama R. hugged each of them. “Don’t be strangers, either of you.”

  While she held Spence close, she whispered, “I’d love to have another barbecue where I could ask Callie, Nick, Leif, and Zoe to join us. No rush, Spence. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

  God knows when that would be, so all he could do was nod to show that the message was received and understood. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

  Her eyes sparkled a little too brightly in the dim light. Aw, damn, he’d made her cry again, but she was still smiling. “You’re family and we love you, Spence.”

  He hugged her again before getting into Melanie’s car with Mooch. He hoped that the small gesture conveyed everything he had no words for.

  Chapter 18

  Three days later, Spence sat flipping through the pages of an outdated sports magazine without really seeing any of the words. Was there some special service that provided doctors, dentists, and lawyers with old magazines? Because if they actually had subscriptions, wouldn’t the newer editions be mixed in with the rest? Maybe there were more important things to worry about, but right now he appreciated the distraction.

  He tossed the magazine aside when he heard the click of a door opening down the hall. Sure enough, footsteps were headed his way. When Troy appeared at the entrance to the waiting room, Spence stood up.

  The attorney headed straight for him with a welcoming smile on his face. “Thanks for coming in on such short notice, but I knew you wanted to start getting this stuff resolved as soon as possible.”

  They shook hands. “Not a problem, Troy. It’s not like I have a lot going on right now.”

  Okay, that must have come across more pathetic than he’d meant for it to, because his friend’s smile faltered. “Is everything okay, Spence? Anything I can do?”

  “Just helping me wade through all this stuff is help enough. It’s hard to make any kind of plans until I know how it will all play out.”

  That was close enough to the truth to satisfy the other man, at least for now. The real problem was that Spence had only one—maybe two—more nights of helping Will with the machinery at the millworks. After that, he had no further commitments, and therefore nothing to occupy his time. Without things to keep him busy, he’d be all alone with his memories. Already his nightmares were getting worse to the point that he was afraid to fall asleep when he was with Melanie for fear of what he might do.

  It would be bad enough if he woke up screaming, but what if his screwed-up head told him she was the enemy?

  Troy was no fool. If he picked up on how close to the edge Spence was running right now, he might just feel obligated to intervene somehow. The last thing Spence wanted to do was put his friend in that position. He braced himself to get through the next hour by doing his best to act normal. After that, maybe he’d take Mooch for a long run to burn off the tension.

  Inside Troy’s private office, he dropped into the chair that faced the two windows that formed the corner of the room. They faced the snowcapped Cascades to the east, which contrasted sharply with the barren mountains in Afghanistan where
he’d spent much of the last two years. The panoramic view served as a reminder that he was home and safe, helping him to ignore stark memories of what life had been like over there.

  Troy set a thick file on his desk. He pulled out two copies of a document and passed one across to Spence. “I’ve prepared a list for you of what needs to be done and in what order. Your decision on some items will obviously impact others, especially that top one. I’ll give you a few minutes to look it over while I go get us each a cup of coffee.”

  Spence glanced up from the paper. “I’ll take mine black.”

  The lawyer disappeared out the door. Good thing, too, because right now Spence couldn’t make sense of anything that was written on the page. There was nothing wrong with his eyes; his mind just refused to process the information. He lifted his gaze to stare out the window again and reminded himself how much better he’d feel once he got through with all of this stuff. Once he did, he’d be free to live his life anywhere he chose.

  He couldn’t wait.

  This time when he looked at the paper, the words shifted into stark clarity. The first line was brutal in its simplicity. Do you want your house back?

  His whole world narrowed down to that one sentence. How the hell was he supposed to figure out the answer to that? Any memories he’d ever had of being happy there living with his folks had dimmed over the years. Far stronger were the hellish ones of existing within those same walls with his uncle and cousin. After he’d kicked their asses to the curb, rattling around in the place by himself hadn’t been any fun, either. It wasn’t until he enlisted in the army that his life had gained any real sense of meaning. Now even that was gone.

  Without realizing what he was doing, he’d shredded the paper into pieces. Son of a bitch! He couldn’t do this. Not now. He wadded the pieces into a ball and tossed it in the trash on his way out the door. Troy was just coming down the hall.

  “Spence? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  “No.”

  Okay, that was a lie. He tried again. “I can’t answer any of the questions until I figure out the first one. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Troy. I’ll call you as soon as I can come to some sort of decision.”

  He kept walking as he spoke, hoping to reach the door before Troy could stop him. No such luck. The other man did an end run to plant himself right in front of Spence. “Okay, I get why that one is a problem for you, Spence, but it’s not going to go away on its own. I would also point out that your friends can’t move forward until you do.”

  Spence snapped, “Screw that, Troy. Don’t play the guilt card with me.”

  To give Troy credit, he didn’t retreat an inch. “Okay, but I’ll tell you this much. I cannot imagine the hell you’ve been through, but I do realize it’s why you’re having a hard time right now. I’m not pressing for immediate answers, and I’m here for you no matter what. Believe that even if you don’t believe anything else. Having said that, you need to go out there and do a walk-through of the place. Figure out what it means to you, if anything. Even if you don’t want the house itself, there might be a few things inside that you’ll want to keep.”

  Troy stared at Spence until he gave in and made eye contact before speaking again. “If you want to do that, I can make sure no one is home when you go out there. Right now it’s hanging over your head like a huge boulder ready to drop at any second. That won’t change until you take control of the situation.”

  Okay, Spence got that Troy was trying his best to help. He might even be right. He slowly nodded. “I’ll think about it and let you know.”

  The other man looked a bit happier. “Do that. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

  Outside, Spence climbed on the Harley and started the engine. He wasn’t sure where he was heading, but right now he needed the wind in his face and the sense of freedom the bike gave him. It took some effort, but he honored the speed limit as long as he was in town. But once he cleared the outskirts of Snowberry Creek, he ripped down the two-lane highway, hoping like heck that he wouldn’t run into Gage Logan or any of his deputies.

  After an hour of rolling down the highway, he reluctantly took a long, winding route back toward town. He’d enjoyed the ride, but it was impossible to outrun the demons that lived in his head. When he passed Liam’s place, on impulse he hung a U-turn and drove back to the bar. Maybe beer could accomplish what the drive hadn’t.

  Inside, the bar was deserted. That was disappointing. He’d been hoping there would be enough people around to provide a welcome distraction.

  Liam appeared just as Spence parked his ass on one of the stools at the bar. He immediately reached for a pair of beers and popped the tops. After sliding one across the bar to Spence, he took a long drink from his own.

  “Thanks, man, but how did you know this is even what I wanted?”

  A quick smile crossed Liam’s face. “Didn’t much care what you wanted. You looked like you needed it.”

  Spence laughed and raised the bottle in a mock toast. “Here’s to perceptive bartenders everywhere.”

  Liam joined in and clinked his bottle against Spence’s. “Considering it’s not even ten thirty, I’m guessing you’ve had a rough morning.”

  “It hasn’t been my best—that’s for sure.” He frowned and shook his head. “A friend is trying to help me deal with some shit, and I acted like a jerk.”

  “If he’s a friend, he’ll get over it.”

  Spence hoped so. “Yeah, but I swear the list of people I should apologize to never gets any shorter.”

  “Common problem, my friend. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t sell half the beer that I do.” Liam picked up a rag and wiped down the already clean counter. “Are you any good at pool?”

  Spence took another swig of his beer, trying to follow the sudden change in topics. “I’ve won my share of games. Why?”

  “Because I’m in the mood to play a few rounds, but I don’t have the patience to play with someone who doesn’t know one end of a pool cue from the other.” He tossed the rag back in the sink. “Are you good enough to make it worth my while?”

  Spence reached for his wallet and pulled out a twenty and slid it across the counter. “That says I can beat you two out of three.”

  Liam picked up the bill and stuffed it in his shirt pocket. He added a second one from the cash drawer. “You’re on.”

  As they made their way to the table, Liam’s smile reminded Spence of a shark that had been hunting for some prey and just spotted a sure thing. Well, they’d see about that. Besides, if he did lose, twenty bucks wasn’t much to pay for an attitude adjustment. Afterward, he’d call Troy and apologize for walking out on their appointment.

  And if he won, he might just ask him to set up a day and time for him to visit the old homestead. Troy was right. Spence needed to figure out if there was anything left that could anchor him right here in Snowberry Creek. If not, he needed to clear the board, settle his debts, and hit the road.

  He nodded at his opponent, who was busy chalking the tip of his cue stick. “It’s your table. Why don’t you break?”

  Liam didn’t say a word. He just leaned over the table and sent the balls flying with a sharp flick of his cue. That shark smile was firmly back in place as he lined up his next shot and went to work.

  “Green in the corner pocket.”

  • • •

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Wolfe. I wish I had a more encouraging answer for you. You have to believe that I argued long and hard that the bank should help you restructure the company’s finances. I’ve also asked them to take another look at the new figures you sent and reminded them that the Wolfe Millworks was an important part of the economy here in Snowberry Creek.”

  Melanie struggled to keep a pleasant expression on her face, but she was losing the battle. She stood to lose more than that if she couldn’t figure out how to convince the bank to recons
ider its decision. “So, Mr. Lunt, tell me what I can do to help you convince them.”

  His gaze slid away from hers. Either he was lying about his efforts to change their minds or he knew an unpleasant truth behind their decision that he was reluctant to share with her. She had her suspicions what that might be. Mr. Lunt had been nice to her and helpful right up until this meeting, so she hated to put him on the spot. However, unpleasant or not as they might be, she needed all the facts if she was going to make any headway toward saving the company.

  It was time to show him she could play hardball. “I’ve provided you with every scrap of information you’ve asked for, good and bad, so I feel as if I’ve been completely honest with you. I would ask you to offer me the same courtesy, Mr. Lunt. What is the real reason the bank is hesitating to approve my application?”

  He immediately reached for the glass of water and took a long swallow. After setting it back down, he picked up a pen and started doodling on the scratch pad beside his desk phone. “Okay, if you want complete honesty, here it is. If this were your father asking for the loan, he probably would have gotten it.”

  She sat up straighter in her chair and leaned forward. “So I’m being turned down because I’m a woman? I’d be very careful with how you answer that, Mr. Lunt.”

  To give the man credit, he looked genuinely horrified by her question. “No, not at all, Ms. Wolfe. Gender has nothing to do with it, but years of experience does. I am impressed by what you’ve accomplished so far, and your plan of action is solid. That’s exactly what I told the committee. However, we owe it to our stockholders to be cautious with the bank’s assets. It would make sense to work with your father to modernize the company because he had decades of experience in the industry. A year from now, when you’ve had a chance to prove yourself, I feel certain that we’d be leaping at the chance to work with you.”