Atone in Darkness Read online

  He stared at the darkened bedroom window and thought about the woman who was tucked into that old-fashioned bed. He shouldn’t have snapped at her like that. Even if part of what he’d said was true, it bothered him to have hurt her that way. His sister would’ve kicked his ass for treating any woman with such callous disregard.

  The problem was that the good doctor wasn’t just any woman. She’d been his keeper, the person who patched him back together time after time when the guards had entertained themselves beating the crap out of him. She wasn’t much younger than he was, but he suspected the gap between his life experience and hers was enormous. Even now, after everything that had happened, there was an unmistakable innocence about her.

  Even when they’d damn near set the woods on fire with that kiss, he’d been aware that her reaction had been enthusiastic but a bit awkward. Like she knew what to do but hadn’t had much practice. If she ever asked for a volunteer to help with that problem, he’d shove his way to the front of the line.

  But not tonight.

  That was disappointing, but it was what it was. Even if she wanted to really heat up that double bed with him, he’d have to find the strength to decline. Right now, she was clearly out of her element and scared. He didn’t want her underneath him just to drive away the fear. He just wanted her. He could imagine the way her dark chocolate eyes would melt as he took her, how perfectly her soft curves would fit against his hard planes when he claimed possession of her body and drove them both over the edge.

  And this was the definition of madness. Why was he making himself crazy imagining something he couldn’t have? It was past time to go back inside and stretch out on the floor. Just for grins, he did one more lap around the house before heading for the front door. He toed off his shoes on the porch, hoping to cut down on the noise. Inside, he considered his options. If he was going to sleep on the floor, stretching out in the kitchen made more sense than sleeping on the bedroom floor. Even with the coals banked for the night, the stove would still give off some heat.

  He stopped in the bathroom, moving as quietly as he could. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her up and risk starting another conversation about the sleeping arrangements. After setting his rifle down on the kitchen floor, he grabbed a small throw pillow off one of the chairs and then stretched out near the stove, lying on his back and using his jacket to cover his feet and legs.

  Not comfortable. The pillow was too thick and bent his neck at the wrong angle. Rolling to his side, he shoved the pillow away and rested his head on his bent arm. Better, but still not good. Finally, he decided the real problem was that he couldn’t shut his brain off. Scenes from the past weeks kept playing out in his mind in full color with all the pain, blood, and fear.

  None of that was conducive to sleeping, so he forced his thoughts in a better direction. Where were his friends? Had his e-mail gotten through? If so, Jarvis and the others would move heaven and earth to find him. He pictured each of his friends in his mind and thought about better times.

  Yeah, there was a lot about his life that hadn’t been easy. His father had disappeared without warning before Chase had been born, leaving his mother distraught and pregnant. She’d died while he was still a kid, and Chase’s older sister had put her own life on hold to take care of him. He’d been almost eighteen before they’d crossed paths with his future brother-in-law, Jarvis Donahue. As it turned out, Jarvis had known Chase’s father, a Paladin who had died in the line of duty. With his help, Chase had found his place fighting alongside some of the finest warriors in the world.

  He wanted that life back, and he wanted the bastards who’d done their best to steal it from him to suffer for their crimes.

  The bedroom door creaked. What was Marisol up to now? He concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly as if he were asleep. With luck, she was making a late-night pit stop in the bathroom and would go right back to bed. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation even if he was still awake.

  No such luck. She was headed in his direction, feeling her way through the shadowed room.

  “Chase?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I didn’t hear you come back in.”

  The relief in her voice made it clear that it had scared her to think she’d woken up alone. Had she really thought he’d deserted her and taken off by himself again? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know she might think that poorly of him, especially after he’d promised her at the waterfall he wouldn’t do that again.

  “I didn’t want to wake you up, so I tried to be extra quiet.”

  She crept closer in the darkened room, muttering under her breath when she stubbed her toe on the leg of an end table. “How come you’re out here? I thought you were going to sleep on the bedroom floor.”

  “I thought it might be warmer near the stove.”

  And because he didn’t trust himself any closer to her.

  “You were outside for a long time. Did you see anything?”

  He finally flopped over to face her. “No, it was peaceful out there.”

  She shifted from foot to foot as if his answer wasn’t quite the reassurance she’d hoped for. He tried again. “I walked out into the woods and circled the property several times. There was no sign of anyone else in the area. If there had been, it wouldn’t have been business as usual for the local critter population. Things get pretty quiet in the woods at night when people are sneaking around.”

  He settled onto his back with his forearm over his eyes, hoping she’d take the hint and retreat to the bedroom. In case she didn’t, he added, “Go get some rest. You need it.”

  Instead, she leaned against the wall, her arms crossed at her waist. “You sound like you have some firsthand experience with sneaking around at night.”

  “I do. I grew up on a farm in the Ozarks. I had a pair of coonhounds, and the three of us did a lot of wandering in the woods that surrounded the place.”

  “I can hear the smile in your voice. Those must have been some good times. Did you have any brothers or sisters to share your adventures?”

  It was hard to tell if she was genuinely interested or the conversation was her way of delaying returning to bed alone. What the hell, it wouldn’t hurt to answer a few questions. “At first, it was my mom, my older sister, and me. After Mom died, it was just me and my sister. She dropped out of college to take over the farm and custody of me. I thought she was crazy, but she swears she never regretted her decision.”

  There was a low sigh before Marisol spoke again. “She sounds like an amazing woman. You were lucky to have someone like that in your life. Someone who put you first.”

  “I was.”

  And he would remind Gwen how much she meant to him once he made it back home. If he made it back home. Considering that last thing Marisol said, maybe it was time for a few questions of his own. “How about you? Where did you grow up? Any siblings?”

  “No, it was just me and my mother. I don’t think of any one place as home. We moved around a lot.”

  She pushed away from the wall. “I should let you get some sleep.”

  Yeah, she should, but she didn’t leave. He might kick his own ass for what he was about to say, but it was clear Marisol didn’t want to be alone.

  Chase studied her profile in the shadows. There was a lot of tension in the set of her shoulders, and she had wrapped her arms around herself so tightly he was surprised she could breathe. “Would you prefer it if I joined you in the bedroom? To sleep on the floor, I mean.”

  She nodded. “I know it’s stupid, but I can’t relax. Every time the cabin creaks or something chirps out there in the woods, I think it’s them coming for us.”

  He rolled up off the floor, picking up his jacket and the rifle as he did. “Okay, let’s go. You get tucked in, and I’ll take the floor. No one will get to you without going through me first.”

  She led their two-person parade the short distance into the other room. Even after they were both inside with the door shut, she hesitated.
Damn it, he wasn’t a mind reader. What the hell did she want him to do?

  “Look, if you’ve changed your mind, Doc, just say so, because I’m dead on my feet here. One way or another, I’m going to get horizontal either here or back out in the kitchen. Which is it going to be?”

  She glanced at the rumpled blankets and then back at him. “You’d sleep better in the bed.”

  Well, yeah, but then she’d be the one freezing her delectable ass on the floor. “Thanks, but no thanks. My sister did her best to pound good manners through my thick skull. There’s no way I can take the bed and let you sleep on the floor.”

  “Then we’ll share.”

  And while he stood there slack-jawed, she lay down and scooted all the way to the other side of the mattress. When he didn’t immediately follow suit, she patted the bed. “Come on, Chase. We’re both adults.”

  True, and that was the problem. Although Gwen had taught him to be a gentleman, she hadn’t raised a fool. Even if he was on his best behavior, curling up under the covers with Marisol would be playing with fire. Even as he inched toward the bed, he offered her one more out. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “I promise I won’t bite.”

  He put his knee on the bed. “Yeah, well, I might.”

  “I’m willing to risk it.”

  Like he’d said, he was no fool. No way he’d turn down her offer to share. He stretched out on the bed and tugged the covers up over them both. She turned toward the window, offering him her back. He followed suit, facing the door on the opposite wall. However, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t quite relax. Only a few inches separated them, which made him conscious of every breath she took, each small movement she made.

  After a few minutes, her breathing grew deep and slow, a likely indicator that she’d fallen asleep, but it took him much longer to get settled. As she’d said, the bad guys were still out there. He had no idea where his friends were or if they were even coming. Gradually, though, his and Marisol’s body heat combined to banish the night’s chill and tomorrow’s worries.

  Cocooned in Marisol’s scent and warmth, he slept.

  11

  * * *

  Marisol had pulled the curtains closed before going to bed last night, but enough sunlight managed to filter through the thin cotton to stab her eyes. She blinked sleepily and considered getting up, but decided she really would prefer to fall back asleep. They planned to spend another day holed up in the cabin, so there was no rush to be up and about.

  But when she tried to turn away from the window, she couldn’t move. Something had her anchored in place. No, not something, someone. Chase’s heavy arm was draped across her waist and his big body was pressed against hers from shoulder to toes, his breath warm on the back of her neck.

  Even if she had wanted to escape, which was currently up for debate, it didn’t matter. There was nowhere for her to go. Her side of the bed was against the wall, so she couldn’t very well slip out that way. She could crawl to the end of the bed and climb out over the footboard, but not without disturbing her still sleeping companion.

  All things considered, maybe inviting him to share the bed hadn’t been a good idea, but she didn’t regret it. Having him there under the covers with her had been the difference between tossing and turning all night and feeling warm and safe. There was just something about Chase that made her believe he really would stand between her and any danger that came at them.

  She couldn’t remember ever wanting to trust anyone that much before, and wasn’t quite sure how he’d managed to slip past the walls she’d erected around her heart. Only time would tell if letting him that close was a mistake. There was no use in worrying about it now.

  Although she’d originally gone to bed before Chase, she’d tossed and turned until he joined her in the bed, which meant neither of them had fallen asleep until pretty late. The other problem was that he was also still recovering from everything the guards had done to him. Their cross-country trek had taken its toll, too. No, she’d stay right where she was and let the poor man sleep.

  “You’re thinking way too hard for this early in the morning.”

  Chase’s deep voice was huskier than normal, as if he was still more asleep than awake. She twisted her head to look back over her shoulder at him. His eyes were at half-mast and lacked the hard edge they often had during the time they’d spent together. It offered her a hint what he’d been like before all of this had happened, making him seem more approachable, even younger.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

  “It’s okay. Did you want me to let you out?”

  After a brief hesitation, she said, “No, I’m fine. The sunshine woke me, but it’s still early.”

  “Good, because I’m not done sleeping yet.” He actually snuggled closer and tightened his hold on her. “And I’m really comfortable right now.”

  Come to think of it, so was she. There was no telling what the rest of the day would bring, but right now she’d enjoy the peace and quiet and the warmth of Chase Mosely at her back.

  • • •

  ELI WATCHED LONZO walk toward the burned-out shell of an old school bus. The Paladin took one look inside the vehicle and stepped back, burying his nose in the crook of his arm and gagging. “Son of a bitch. That’s bad.”

  Eli didn’t blame the man for looking a bit green around the gills. He could smell the carnage even though he stood a good thirty feet from the bus.

  Lonzo scanned the area. “No sign of survivors here. Let’s check the compound before we report in.”

  Good idea. None of them wanted to tell the people waiting back at headquarters that they’d gotten there too late. The rest of the team immediately fanned out around them, their weapons drawn and ready. The gate that led into the compound proper was twisted and bent where something had crashed into it. There was just enough room for them to squeeze through the opening one by one.

  Eli moved closer to Tyson. “What do you think happened here?”

  The other man took a long, slow look around at the building and the ground surrounding it before answering. “I’d say the higher-ups decided to cut bait.”

  His voice gave no overt hint as to how he felt about that or the charred bodies on the bus, but Eli recognized cold fury when he saw it. No doubt the former marine was wondering if he’d lost any friends, or at least former associates in the explosion. Short of doing DNA tests on the remains, there was no way to identify the dead.

  Jarvis brushed passed them. “Let’s check out the building.”

  Considering how close Jarvis was to Chase Mosely, it wasn’t a good idea to let him take the lead. There probably wasn’t any way to convince him to stay outside and let the others go on the hunt without him. He wouldn’t appreciate them trying to shelter him from whatever horrors they might find inside the building, but at least they could try.

  Eli gave Tyson a nudge. “Have you been here before?”

  There was a definite chill in Tyson’s gaze as he looked around. “Yeah, briefly. I was part of the original crew stationed here back when I was still part of the spec-ops team. Then they pulled all of us out with no notice and no explanation. Looking back, I suspect that’s when the new management took over, because everything changed after that.”

  Eli already knew those changes were why Tyson had walked away from his former employer. Rather than press for more details, he changed the subject. “What are we looking at here?”

  He pointed at the large structure right in front of them. “That’s the main building. The motor pool and a barracks are along the back fence. You can see the guard towers on all four corners.”

  Tyson started walking toward the left side of the building, letting the others follow as they would. “The main entrance is this way. The building is C shaped. The doors open into a small lobby. To the left are more guards’ quarters and a secure area I was never allowed into. There’s a gym and some other rooms on the right. The hall leading straight back goes
toward a lab, a dining room for the staff, and an apartment for the resident scientist.”

  Okay, that was unexpected. “What did they need a scientist for?”

  Tyson shrugged. “They never said, and I didn’t ask. Everything was on a ‘need-to-know’ basis. I didn’t need to know.”

  Eli had spent much of his military career dealing with top-secret missions, so he couldn’t fault the man for not pushing for answers. At least he’d given them enough information that they weren’t going in completely blind.

  They’d reached the front door. “Everyone stand back until I check to make sure they didn’t wire the place to blow if unauthorized personnel try to enter.”

  Eli checked the door frame for any sign it had been tampered with. Nothing. He gave the door handle a slight tug. Unlocked. He swung it open wide and jumped back to see what happened.

  Tyson apparently had no such reservations, or maybe he was feeling suicidal. Either way, he marched through the open door and kept going. When he made it to the far side of the lobby without incident, he motioned for the others to follow.

  Three went left to check out the guards’ quarters and the area that Tyson had never been in. Eli, Jake, Tyson, and Doc headed the other way, clearing each room they passed to make sure they didn’t miss any nasty surprises along the way. When they reached the back hallway that ran across the length of the building, Tyson turned right first. Most of the rooms looked like people had grabbed stuff in a hurry on their way out. The end of the hall widened out into a pentagon with a single door in the center.

  “This is the apartment I mentioned.” He pointed to a narrower hall that opened off to the right. “That will take you back to the front of the building and the side exit.”

  Unlike the other doors, this one was locked. Eli stood back and then kicked with everything he had. It took three tries before it finally gave. Doc stood guard at the door while the rest of them searched the rooms. If someone had been living there, they sure hadn’t left much of a mark on the place, although he had to wonder why the shower curtain had been taped to the ceiling. Otherwise, there were no photos, no computer, nothing that revealed the personality or identity of the former tenant. They had a little better luck in the bedroom. The clothes in the closet made it clear that a woman had been living there and that her taste ran to rather plain slacks and blouses paired with white lab coats. No bright colors, no prints, no real personality.