A Reason to Love Read online

  “I’ll do that.” Her aunt sighed heavily. “Hon, I know it’s hard for you having her all the way down here while you try to deal with everything on your own, but we both know that Sandra wouldn’t be any help at all. It’s better that she’s down here transforming my yard into a thing of beauty.”

  It was nice to know her mom was interested in something. For the first three weeks after her husband’s death, all she’d done was sit and stare at their wedding portrait over the fireplace. “Working in the garden was always her great love. Tell her I’m doing my best to keep our yard up to her standards.”

  Her aunt laughed. “Good luck with that. I swear Sandra manicures my grass with scissors, and any weeds that dare to pop up end up running for their lives.”

  Melanie laughed. It was that or cry. “Well, I should get back to work. Hug Mom for me, and I’ll transfer some more money to her account at the end of the week.”

  “I’ve got plenty for both of us, Melanie, so hold on to that money if you need it.”

  Evidently, Melanie’s father wasn’t the only one in the family with too much pride to ask for financial help. “I’ll send it, Aunt Marcia. She’ll feel better if she has her own spending money.”

  “All right, but the offer stands. I’ll keep you posted on how she’s doing.”

  “Thanks. And it really helps to know you’re looking out for her.”

  “It’s the least I can do. Tell me, and I want an honest answer about this. Are you doing more than rattling around in that house by yourself? Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of your family name.”

  Melanie debated whether or not to tell her aunt about Spence moving in to the housekeeper’s cottage. Considering how her mother had always felt about Spence and his uncle, maybe it was better to keep it to herself until she knew how long he was going to stay. There was no use in getting her mom all worked up over it if he was only staying a short time.

  “I’m mostly doing fine, but I’d better get back to work. Hugs to you both.”

  After hanging up, she yanked open the bottom drawer of her desk. If there was ever a time to dig into her secret stash of dark chocolate, this was it. Not even the milk chocolate would do. She grabbed a handful and dropped them on the desk. After staring at the small pile for a few seconds, she counted out five pieces and put the rest back. Over the months after having her whole life turned inside out, she’d developed her own chocolate-to-crisis ratio where really bad days went as high as ten to one. It was a stretch to say that finding out that her mom wasn’t coming home anytime soon warranted even three.

  But if she threw in her doubts about last night and Spence, surely she was justified in taking two extras. Unwrapping the first one, she popped it in her mouth and took the time to savor the soothing flavor on her tongue. After that, she unwrapped another one and opened the next folder on her desk.

  While she started through the facts and figures in front of her, she spared a second to wonder how Spence was doing on the deliveries. Was he like her, falling into old routines and feeling as if he’d never really been gone? She’d have to ask him sometime, but for now she really had to get back to work.

  • • •

  Spence pulled into the driveway and stopped. This would be the first time he’d seen his family home in nearly two years. His parents had been gone since his early teens. No matter how many times he reminded himself of that fact, somehow he always expected to see them sitting on the front porch whenever he came back.

  He ought to be embarrassed by how run-down he’d let the place get over the years. Certainly, Callie’s folks shouldn’t have to live next to a complete dump. For him, though, the overgrown grass and faded paint served as a reminder of all that he’d lost and that his parents weren’t waiting there for him.

  However, back when he was in the hospital in Germany, he’d carefully studied the Web site Callie had created to showcase her plans for the bed-and-breakfast. Intellectually, he knew that they had done far more than mow the grass. That didn’t mean he was ready emotionally to witness the changes firsthand.

  “Damn it, dog, I so don’t want to do this.”

  Mooch had been dozing in the seat beside him until Spence slowed to make the turn into the driveway. Now he had his nose out the window and was yipping softly as he waited impatiently for Spence to drive the rest of the way to the house.

  “Okay, fine, but don’t think we’ll be hanging around for any length of time. We’ll drop off the doors and then head back to the factory to meet up with Mr. Cosgrove. I promised him treats from Bridey’s place, which I still have to buy. You’d better be ready to leave when I am, dog, or you’re on your own.”

  He put the truck in gear and rolled forward. As soon as he saw the house, he slammed the brakes on again, sending his poor companion scrambling for purchase on the slick vinyl bench seat. Spence grabbed Mooch by the collar and hauled him over onto his lap.

  The place had been . . . Transformed was the only word he could come up with. The grass had been recently mowed, the flower beds were neatly edged, and the bushes had all been trimmed. His eyes burned as he studied the house itself. The sagging gutters had been replaced or at least repaired, and someone had been scraping the peeling paint off the siding.

  The house was far from perfect; it was obvious there was a ton of work left to be done. Yet it was clear that someone cared about the place again, something that had been missing for years. It made him feel ashamed that he’d let it get so bad in the first place.

  As he pulled around the circular drive in front of the house, Nick stepped out on the porch. Leif wasn’t far behind. The only one missing from the party was Callie. Spence really hoped she wouldn’t put in an appearance. There was no telling how this was going to play out, and she didn’t deserve to get caught in any cross fire.

  “Come on, Mooch. You owe them an apology for worrying them so much.”

  The dog shot him a look that clearly said Look who’s talking!

  Maybe that was Spence’s conscience talking, but maybe not. The dog always seemed to understand far more than he should. Neither of them was going to accomplish anything by hiding in the truck. He climbed down out of the cab and stood back to let Mooch hop down after him.

  The two of them rounded the front of the truck but made no attempt to join the other two men up on the porch. “I’ve got your doors.”

  Nick ignored him and glared at the dog instead. “I should kick your flea-bitten ass from here to hell and back for worrying Callie like that.”

  Mooch broke formation and trotted up the steps to sit in front of Nick and Leif. He didn’t move an inch, not even to wag his tail, until the two men finally gave up and welcomed him home. So maybe Spence hadn’t needed to buy that dog food after all.

  “Where do you want me to put the doors?”

  Leif straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest, his feet planted wide. There wasn’t even a hint of a smile when he said, “Wheels, do you really want me to tell you where you can stick those?”

  Spence didn’t rise to the bait, mainly because it felt too much like old times. Meanwhile, Nick had squatted down to pet Mooch. “Anywhere is fine. I’ll give you a hand.”

  Spence wanted to refuse. He couldn’t bring himself to be that petty, especially when he realized Callie had just stepped out of the woods that separated his place from her folks’ yard.

  “Fine.”

  He hated the feel of those three pairs of eyes boring into his back as he vaulted onto the back of the truck. He did his best to ignore them and began untying the two cardboard containers that held the two doors. The truck lurched to one side as Nick climbed up to help him.

  They worked in silence. When they were done, Nick climbed back down to catch the box as Spence slid it over the side. Leif came down off the porch to help, his gait uneven as if his left leg was stiff or something. Then Spence notice
d the cane leaning against the column on the porch.

  What the hell had happened to him?

  Nick met his gaze over the small expanse of cardboard that separated them. “He almost lost his lower leg in the explosion. Some days are worse than others.”

  Shit, Spence hadn’t meant to ask that out loud, but he knew exactly which explosion Nick meant. So he wasn’t the only one whose life had gone to hell that day. He wanted to ask more questions, but he couldn’t find the words.

  Nick and Leif picked up the first door and carried it up onto the porch. God, it hurt to see Leif hobble up the steps, always leading with his right leg and dragging the left one up more slowly.

  As soon as they had the door stowed, they came back for the second one. Spence started to pick up one end, but Leif shouldered him aside. “We’ll take care of it. You’ve done enough.”

  Enough what? It was tempting to argue, but Nick caught his eye and shook his head. Fine, if Sarge thought it was that important, Spence would concede the point, at least for now. He pretended to look through the stack of papers on the clipboard, gripping the damn thing so hard his hand ached. One signature was all he needed, and then he could leave.

  Callie had taken her own sweet time coming across the yard. Maybe she was hoping he’d be back in the truck and on his way before she got there. More likely, she thought if she moved too fast he’d bolt whether they were done unloading the doors or not.

  “So you’re working for Melanie now.”

  Spence forced himself to look his friend in the face but couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back to put more room between them. He hated the quick flash of hurt that crossed Callie’s expressive face. “A little. Nothing permanent. She was shorthanded today.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  How much did he want her to know? But then, why keep it a secret?

  “I’m renting the old housekeeper’s cottage on the back of the Wolfe House property.”

  Callie tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes as she studied him. “I didn’t realize that you and Melanie were such good friends.”

  The question might have sounded innocuous, but there was a note in Callie’s voice he didn’t much like. Why would she care if he and Melanie hooked up? “Is that a problem?”

  “No, not at all. You just never mentioned keeping in touch with her.”

  Nick moved up beside Callie with Leif not far behind. At least Mooch decided to stand beside Spence. If the dog had chosen to take their side, it might have been more than he could take right now.

  “I didn’t,” Spence said.

  “Didn’t what? Keep in touch with her or bother telling me you had?”

  Seriously, with everything that had happened, this was what had Callie spoiling for a fight? He’d hoped their phone conversation had eased some of the tension between them. “Look, I need to go. I’ve still got a long evening’s work ahead of me.”

  Nick stepped between him and the truck while Leif moved to block any avenue of retreat. Son of a bitch, he didn’t want to do this right now. Actually, ever.

  “Nick, not now. I’m on the job and don’t have time for this.”

  His friend gestured at the now empty flatbed. “Looks like you’re pretty much done making deliveries.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So, if you don’t have time now, Corporal, when will you?”

  “Time for what, Nick?”

  The former sergeant breathed in slowly, his nostrils flaring wide. “Callie, do me a favor and go inside. Take Leif with you.”

  She was already shaking her head. “But we need to talk things out. I want—”

  “Please, Cal, let’s not gang up on him. I’m guessing he’s feeling cornered right now, which pretty much guarantees Wheels won’t be reasonable.” Nick spared her a quick glance, his fierce expression softening just for her.

  Spence wanted to punch him, partly out of jealousy and partly because Nick could read him so well. Maybe he would let a fist fly once Callie was out of the line of fire. He watched as Leif put his arm around her shoulders and tugged her toward the porch. She hesitated before climbing the steps to disappear into the house. Leif mirrored her action, but after aiming a hard look in their direction, he went inside and closed the door.

  Meanwhile, Nick studied Spence as if he found him to be an interesting specimen. He could look all he wanted. “I’m assuming you didn’t run them off just to stare at me.”

  To his surprise, his old friend actually laughed. “God, Wheels, no wonder I used to have to thunk you on that hard head of yours once in a while just to get your attention.”

  Then he leaned against the side of the truck, clearly in no hurry to get to the point. Spence didn’t buy it for a minute. Sarge might look relaxed, but he was perfectly capable of going on the attack with no warning.

  “Okay, I was talking about you making time to talk to us. Time to explain what the hell happened to you. Why you’re acting like you hate us.” Nick straightened up, his eyebrows riding low over a rock-hard gaze. “I made some calls and got the basic facts, but that’s not the same as hearing it from you. I’m guessing whatever happened was fucking damn ugly. I’m sorry about that, but keep in mind that it wasn’t any picnic for me and Leif, either. He damn near lost his leg, and it’s taken multiple surgeries and a helluva lot of therapy to having him walking even that well. I hate that for him, and there’s not a day that goes by that I didn’t wish it had been me and not him.”

  He took a step toward Spence. “But that was nothing compared to living with the knowledge I got you killed. Now you’re back, but it’s like I’m talking to a total stranger wearing your face.”

  As tempting as it was to lash out, Spence couldn’t bring himself to even make a fist. “That’s how I feel, Nick. Maybe it’s better for you to go on pretending the man you knew did die that day.”

  Nick’s shock was painfully clear. “God, Wheels, don’t even say that!”

  Spence looked around the yard, trying to focus on something other than the mix of anger, guilt, and hurt feelings standing right there in front of him. Right now it felt as if he were back in that cell with the walls closing in on him. He wanted to scream, but if he gave in to the impulse he feared he might never stop.

  “I’ve got to get out of here, Nick. Tell Callie I’m sorry. I don’t mean to keep hurting her. I’ve already told her that the problem is with me, not her.”

  Nick didn’t move. “I’m not going to let you get in that fucking truck until you agree to sit down with me and hash this all out. Name the time and place, and I’ll be there. Leif, too.”

  As it turned out, Spence wasn’t into taking orders anymore, especially from Nick. “No. Now get out of my way.”

  He didn’t wait to see what Nick would do. He shoved his friend out of the way and reached for the door handle. Before he got a good grip on it, his friend charged right back. They grabbed onto each other and took the discussion to the ground, each one trying to get in the first good punch.

  Spence could hear shouting coming from somewhere. Maybe it was him and Nick, but then Mooch’s barking drowned it out. The dog danced around them, pitching a fit. Still struggling to pin Nick, Spence growled, “Mooch, get back.”

  But Mooch wasn’t having it. Instead of retreating, he went on the attack, nipping first at Spence and then at Nick. He didn’t draw blood, but it was close. The sharp pain broke through the red haze of anger.

  Spence released his hold on Nick and rolled to the side, covering his face with his forearm. It wouldn’t have surprised him if Nick planted his fist right on Spence’s face, but he didn’t.

  They lay side by side, both breathing hard. Nick let loose with a colorful string of words, ending with “Well, I’m going to catch holy hell from Callie for this.”

  Spence dropped his arm down onto the ground and looked over at Nick
. “Why? I started it.”

  “Yeah, like that’s going to make a difference.”

  Nick sat up, wincing a bit as he did. Spence followed suit, mentally taking inventory of a few aches and pains. As much as he hated to admit it, Nick was right. They both needed to clear the air, but he wasn’t ready. On the other hand, maybe he’d gotten a step closer to when he would be.

  Mooch plopped down on the grass and kept a wary eye on both of them. Spence reached out to pet him, but the dog snapped at him again. Okay, so he owed more than one apology right now.

  “I promise we’ll talk, but don’t corner me on this, Nick.” He forced himself to look his friend in the eye. “I’m pretty twisted up inside right now. It should be pretty obvious that I can’t be rational on the subject yet.”

  Nick crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. He supported his head with the palms of his hands on his forehead. “I wish I could say it gets easier, but some days—”

  “Yeah, I get that. Tell Callie I promise not to be such a total asshole, but I really do have to get going.”

  He didn’t really owe Nick any explanations, but he offered one anyway so that he’d know Spence wasn’t just blowing him off. “I’m doing some maintenance work on the machines at Melanie’s factory in the evenings after the day crew leaves.”

  Nick looked up. “Sounds like the perfect gig for you. You always did like getting greasy and playing with engines. Do you plan to take a job there permanently?”

  Spence poked and prodded that idea. “Too soon to tell. Right now I’m just helping out.”

  He braced himself for another bout of pain and stood up. “Damn it, Sarge, did you have to knee me in the ribs?”

  Nick was rubbing his jaw where Spence had clipped him. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  Spence didn’t want to laugh, but he did. He held out his hand and pulled his friend up to his feet. It wasn’t the same as a handshake, but it was close.

  “Call when you want to talk, Spence. If you don’t want to come here, maybe we can meet at that bar you went to the other night and share a few beers. I’ll even buy the first round.”